Hey! Hey you!

Ever want to ask one of your Wax On writers anything? Or to request a blog? Of course not!

But here is how you do it anyways...


Just go here and ask or request away!

http://www.formspring.me/Deadeyex15

Peace,
Garrett Radant

WHAT THE GOD DAMNED FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU

These aren't my creation, but it sums up my super rage at unintelligent and lazy members of the writing thunderdome. Old maybe, funny absolutely.

A Rapper's Attempt at Respect By Garrett R

***For the sake of fluid argument, I am generalizing all "artists" of this nature as rappers***

Now I will be the first to admit that not every rap/hip-hip or in this case "Electro House" song is total crap. The lyrics are typically vulgar, provocative, and borderline racist...but never have I ever seen a rapper try to justify his words as respectful.

Below I have a very current and very popular (based on how often it is played) song's lyrics...let's analyze a particular line...

"I’m trying find the words to describe this girl without being disrespectful"

Wait...really? By saying that you need to TRY AND FIND the words to not be disrespectful immediately points out that your first reaction WAS in fact very DISRESPECTFUL.
And then you (the artist) goes on to say that the words they found were respectful were these:

Damn You’s a sexy bitch, a sexy bitch
Damn you’s a sexy bitch, damn girl
Damn You’s a sexy bitch, a sexy bitch
Damn you’s a sexy bitch, damn girl

Now...just a thought, I'm not sure of the general consensus with women...is "sexy bitch" something that you strive for to feel respected? Just a thought.

~Garrett Radant

PS- Even if this song did not have such twisted, beat around the bush lyrics, it would still blow some giant beans.

---------------------------------------------------
David Guetta feat Akon - Sexy Bitch Lyrics

Yes i can see her
Cause every girl here wanna be her…
Ohh she’s a diva
They feel the same and i wanna meet her
They say she low down, its just a roomer and i don’t believe them
they say she needs to slow down
the baddest thing around town
She is nothing like a girl you've ever seen before, nothing you can compare to your neighborhood hoe
I’m trying find the words to describe this girl without being disrespectful
The way that booty movin i just cant take no more
Have to stop what I’m doing so I can pull her close
I’m trying to find the words to describe this girl without being disrespectful
(Damn Girl)
Chorus
Damn You’s a sexy bitch, a sexy bitch
Damn you’s a sexy bitch, damn girl
Damn You’s a sexy bitch, a sexy bitch
Damn you’s a sexy bitch, damn girl
Yes i can see her
Cause every girl here wanna be her…
Ohh she’s a diva
They feel the same and i wanna meet her
They say she low down, its just a roomer and i don’t believe them
they say she needs to slow down
the baddest thing around town
She is nothing like a girl you’ve ever seen before nothing you can compare to your neighbourhood whore
I’m trying to find the words to describe this girl without being disrespectful
The way that booty movin’ I cant take no more
Have to stop what I’m doing so I can pull her close
I’m trying to find the words to describe this girl without being disrespectful
(Damn Girl)
Chorus
Damn You’s a sexy bitch, a sexy bitch
Damn you’s a sexy bitch, damn girl
Damn You’s a sexy bitch, a sexy bitch
Damn you’s a sexy bitch, damn girl
Damn You’s a sexy bitch, a sexy bitch
Damn you’s a sexy bitch, damn girl
Damn You’s a sexy bitch, a sexy bitch
Damn you’s a sexy bitch, A SEXY BITCH
(outro)


Song Information
Released July 24, 2009
Genre Electro house
Length 3:16 (Radio Edit), 4:03 (Album Version)
Label Virgin, EMI
Producer David Guetta

The Good Old days? Really?

If you ask me, the good old days were just as shitty as the days are today. Here is a list of reasons why...

10. The sun still rises, despite our want for more sleep.

9. When we were young we were broke because we didn't have a job, now we are broke because of the government, tuition, and that lawsuit with the Vince, the Slap-chop guy.

8. At a young age we were afraid of 2 things: parents and jail, if we did something wrong, now we seem to have digressed and are afraid of our parents again...even if we end up in jail.

7. We have higher expectations now. For everything. But back then, we planned on everything being broken.

6. In the day, they didn't put weird flavors together to try and be clever. But they also had significantly less to choose from, which made it easier, but..."you could never try anything different."

5. We don't have time due to procrastination, back in the day we didn't have the tools to procrastinate.

4. Our "future plans" in grade school never came true, nor did our wish for more booze in college.

3. We have Vault, we lost Surge.

2. Our biggest problem as a kid was finding friends to play with, then XBox Live came along and now that we don't need friends, they lag.

1. Women still bleed from their vagina.

That is all.

Pastor Pulls Gun On Son For Not Going to Church Enough

ALCOA, Tenn. – The son of a well-known Alcoa pastor has taken out an order of protection against his father, claiming he was threatened with a gun during an argument at a church over his lack of church attendance. The order of protection was filed by 32-year-old Michael Louis Colquitt against 60-year-old Joe Colquitt, pastor of St. John Missionary Baptist Church.

The younger man told police his father pulled out a handgun when they met at the church to discuss church attendance. He told officers his father pointed the gun at him and threatened to kill him, his wife and family.

Joe Colquitt declined to comment when contacted by The Daily Times of Maryville. (story courtesy of The Daily Times)


Wah, wah, wah!! My Daddy pulled a gun on me! He threatened to kill me and wife and kids! Fucking grow up, dude; when it's a father-son situation, all laws go out the window. Last time I checked, pulling a gun on your kid and threatening to spray his and his families' brains all over the sidewalk wasn't called first-degree assault with a deadly weapon, it was called tough love.

You think your Pops likes having to whip his piece out at a House of The Lord? Get your fucking ass to church once in a while and maybe your old man wouldn't be forced to go Dirty Harry on you. Church attendance is down across the country. If a pastor can't count on his own flesh and blood to show up on Sunday and listen to him preach, then who the fuck can he count on? Not to mention the fact that you ran and snitched to the pigs like a fucking punkass bitch. Between not honoring The Lord and not honoring thy father, Michael Colquitt should be thanking his lucky stars that he's still breathing right now.

I'm not a God-fearing man at all, but if a pastor or priest or rabbi or imam came up to me and pulled out a heater demanding I attend service more often, you can bet your ass I'd be there the next weekend with my hair combed, shoes shined, suit pressed, and rosary beads on belting out every hymn so loud it would make the choir look like a bunch of mutes.

And I don't blame Father Joe here for not commenting on this story to the paper or the cops. That dude doesn't have to answer to anybody but God, and the fact that he's out there in the streets, pulling guns on his family and fighting the good fight has to have him at the top of God's list right now. When the day of reckoning comes, you know Joe Colquitt is being saved.

P.S.- Father Joe goes down as the ultimate badass if he used this speech on his son:

Wisconsin High Schools Turning Into Communist Russia

MENOMONEE FALLS - Two local high schools are cracking down on dirty dancing at school events.
Both Union Grove High School and Menomonee Falls High School are banning "grinding" - a style of dance some say simulates sex. In Union Grove, video cameras will monitor students' dance moves.

Menomonee Falls High School principal Bill Hintz says after the Homecoming Dance chaperones agreed the dancing had gone too far. "It's finally gotten to the point where it's a hot topic. The community wants us to do something," he said.

Hintz began holding Dance Summits where students, faculty, parents and police discussed new guidelines. The ban on sexual dancing will go into place for February's turnabout dance.

Some students are so angry they say they'll skip the dance. "There's only a couple dances a year and they're taking our rights away so I'm not going," said one sophomore girl. Another said, "It's our way of culture now. It's how we dance."

A group of seniors and their parents decided to hold an alternate dance a few weeks later as a reaction to the new rules.

Still some students do agree that a crackdown on dancing is needed. Kristin Boehler who has kids in the Menomonee Falls School District says "grinding" has been a topic of conversation in their family.

"I don't think there's any need for that at a high school. You don't need to dance that way," she said. (story courtesy of Today's TMJ 4)


So let me get this straight. In a world where high school students have more piercings than Tommy Lee, have seemingly unlimited access to alcohol and every kind of drug under the sun, and are fucking at such an high rate that MTV has created a show called "Teen Mom," this radical group of parents has decided that banning grinding at school dances is the key to solving all these problems? Is that pretty much what we're dealing here? I say fuck that. Nobody puts Union Grove and Menomonee Falls High School in a corner!

Listen, these old farts can hold all the "Dance Summits," lay down all the bans, set up all cameras, and hire all the chaperones they want, but the fact is grinding on bitches is an American tradition that has been ingrained into our cultural fabric since Colonial times. John Smith grinded the shit out of Pocahontas; Thomas Jefferson grinded the shit out of all his slaves; JFK grinded on everything with a set of tits. It's what America does. Our country was founded on the notion that all people should have the freedom to follow "live, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness." And when you're a teenage boy, there are few things on this Earth that make you happier than having some chick furiously grind her ass into your junk right in the middle of the dance floor with Usher's "Yeah!" playing in the background.

The best part about grinding is that it takes absolutely no skill or actual dancing ability to do. God cursed you with 2 left feet? No problem, just drop down and get your eagle on, girl! You don't have the foot speed or coordination to pull off that Guido club dancing to impress the ladies? Just pull up your pants and do the rock away; if it can work for Fat Joe, it can work for you. You never know who should lead and how many steps to take for a slow dance? Fuck it, break out the stanky leg and watch the dudes go crazy.

It's like the chick in the story said, it's the high school culture now. It's how they dance. These chicks today know they're sluts and they're damn proud of it! And they should be, because the last time I checked, this was still America, where you can be what you want to be and do it without the fear of persecution. This rebel alliance of senior parents that are holding separate dances where their kids can grind each other 'til they wear holes in the crotches and asses of their pants and dresses are my kind of people. They'll be damned if their kids aren't going to be allowed to skank and skeeze it up with each other! Fight the power!!

If you ask me, the schools and parents should encourage MORE grinding. If their kids are busy dry humping each other on the dance floor with a few layers of protective cloth between their special places, that means they aren't in the bathroom or the backseat of a car fucking, and THAT means they aren't getting pregnant, dropping out school, and spending the rest of their lives living in the upstairs apartment of mommy and daddy's house taking care of their out-of-wedlock kid on a 40-hour-a-week job working at Subway.

Any principal would be smart to schedule weekly dances and hold those things chaperone free. You keep a few teachers on-site to make sure there aren't fights breaking out and drugs being used, and one in each bathroom to monitor any naughty business taking place there and you let these hormone-infused teenagers grind the ever-loving shit out of each other until they all leave with blue balls and sore asses. But no, instead these morons are putting the kibosh on one more relatively safe thing that teenagers can do and steer them even more towards drugs, booze, and unprotected sex. Genius!!

Holiday Inn Wants This Guy To Warm Your Bed For You

International hotel chain Holiday Inn is offering a trial human bed-warming service at three hotels in Britain this month.

If requested, a willing staff-member at two of the chain's London hotels and one in the northern English city of Manchester will dress in an all-in-one fleece sleeper suit before slipping between the sheets.

"The new Holiday Inn bed warmers service is a bit like having a giant hot water bottle in your bed," Holiday Inn spokeswoman Jane Bednall said in an emailed statement to Reuters. Holiday Inn said the warmer would be fully dressed and leave the bed before the guest occupied it. They could not confirm if the warmer would shower first, but said hair would be covered.

She could not explain why the beds were not being warmed by hot water bottles or electric-blankets, but admitted the human method was quirky. (story courtesy of Reuters)


Quirky? Try downright fucking creepy as shit. Just thinking about all the mites and bugs and shit that live in your bedsheets is bad enough; now you have to worry about what kind of person is going to be rolling around in your bed doing God knows what before you hop in.

Jane Bednall can cut the shit with this "giant hot water bottle in your bed" nonsense. The last time I checked, I wouldn't have to worry about giant hot water bottles teabagging my pillowcases or dropping ass in that fleece sleeper suit and leaving me a nice Dutch Oven to climb into. Where is it even stated that the bed warmer is guaranteed to keep the fleece thing and their clothes on while they're warming my bed? How am I supposed to be sure that this bed warmer isn't a freak who's just going to strip down to his or her bareass and furiously masturbate all over my bed before I get in? Call me crazy, but images of that running through my head as I'm snuggling down to sleep after a long day at work on a business trip isn't exactly going to put me in the right frame of mind for a relaxing sleep.

And not for nothing, Jane, but how the fuck can you not confirm if the bed warmer was going to shower before climbing into a bed to warm it? Are you fucking kidding me??? Before the chick at the front desk even asks me if I want the optional human bed-warming service, I better see written and visual proof that the bed warmer has showered, shaved, been dipped in a flea bath, and had that fleece suit steam washed. It's bad enough you're offering people the chance to have a complete stranger roll around in their bed before they get in it, now you're opening the door to possible exchange of diseases between the warmer and warmee? Lots of holes in this process if you ask me.

And what's all this shit about not being able to explain why you aren't already using hot water bottles or heating blankets like the rest of the 21st-century civilized world? Those are pretty simple, relatively inexpensive options for warming up a bed that have worked perfectly fine so far. Is the Holiday Inn trying to bring all the closet sex freaks and creepshows out of the woodwork to sign up for this job?

Basically what I'm gathering from this story is that Holiday Inn just wants the opportunity to be sued up the ass after some couple complains about finding pubes or a hot dump in their bed after Johnny Sex Pervert warmed it up for them. There's no way for them to guarantee the cleanliness of their warmers or that their warmers will remain fully clothed throughout the process. I could sign up for the option, sprinkle a few of my own ball hairs in the bed, complain the next morning, and be banging hot bitches on my Yacht in the middle of the Caribbean within a week while I cover their naked bodies in singles that I got from my out-of-court settlement.

Come to think of it, maybe this isn't such a bad policy after all. Fuck my apartment; I'm staying at a Holiday Inn tonight!