Oh Come On!!! by That Guy

Now this story and video has been making the rounds on the internet and TV over the last day or 2, but I called bullshit on this within the first 10 seconds of watching it.

Notice the phrase "training to be a pro football cheerleader." All it takes to be an NFL cheerleader is a set of tits and a decent haircut, so if this chick, who is at least a 7-7.5 out of 10, can't hack it as a cheerleader for one of the worst teams in the league then she's pretty much hit rock bottom. So she cooked up a cute little story about getting a flu shot a few days ago and then suddenly starting to walk like a freakshow combination of the "Thriller" dance and Gollum from "LOTR," and talk like a deaf "Sesame Street" character, and suddenly her tragic tale would be all over TV, catapulting her into the spotlight she so desperately craves.

Nice try, bitch, but you have to wake up a little earlier in the morning to pull an amateur hour shenanigan like this over on me. You can feed me all the lines about dystonia and doctors being amazed by this one-in-a-million case, but unless I'm looking at a doctor's report and seeing a diagram tracing back this supposed disease through this chick's family tree, I'm not buying it. And then when she takes it to a whole new level with the added "I can walk backwards and jog just fine, and even talk right when I'm jogging. Golly gee, what a craaaaaaaaaaaazy mystery!"-routine, I'm putting all my money on "Bullshit" to win.

For Christ's sake, she doesn't even stop jogging before she starts spazzing out again at the 1:28-1:29 mark. If you're going to try to pull one over on America, at least rehearse a little more and keep a little consistency in your side effects. This "Inside Edition" dude should just fucking quit his job now. If that were me in that case, I would have pulled a Walter Sobchack on her, yanked her up off of that couch, and exposed her as the walker that she is.

If you really want to enjoy this story, try this version instead.



I laughed my fucking ass off watching this twice in a row. Am I going to hell? Absolutely. But at least I'm not lying about it like this bitch.