FOREST, Miss. – Officers had to use a stun gun and handcuffs to capture an emu running loose on Interstate 20 in central Mississippi on Sunday. Police Officer Kiley Culpepper told WLBT-TV in Jackson that motorists had been calling 911 since Friday to report sightings of two emus on I-20 and nearby U.S. Highway 80.
Authorities had been unable to find the animals until Sunday, when one was spotted near an I-20 entrance ramp.
The big bird was dodging traffic. Culpepper and deputies were able to surround the animal but has to use the Taser and handcuffs to finally get it off the road.
After being captured, the animal was taken to the Scott County Forest Coliseum. (story courtesy of Yahoo! News)
Fuckin' A, man!! It's about goddamn time emus got what was coming to them. For too long we've let them run wild through our country thinking they could do whatever they want, walk across any highway exit they damn pleased. Well no more!! Cops in Forest, Mississippi know what's up and they aren't going to stand for this slap in the face of humanity, least of all Kiley Culpepper.
You want to play chicken with people on the entrance ramp who are probably trying to get to work so they can drag us out of this recession since it's clear Barry O. isn't helping in that department? BAM!!! Fuckin' handcuffs and tasers all up in your ass!!
I don't know when emus started thinking they ran shit around here, but it's about time somebody stepped up and put an end to this bullshit. Nevermind that there probably isn't any use for handcuffs on creatures that don't have hands, Mississippi cops probably never think that far ahead. But in times like these when our society is crumbling around us to the point that emus are basically teabagging us on the highway, I don't want cops that think, I want cops that fucking act!
Too bad the police only managed to cuff and taze one of the perpetrators. All I know is that second emu better have some friends who can help him stay off the grid because the Forest, Mississipi Sherrif's Department is coming hard for you this time, friend. No handcuffs or Miranda rights here, just a double dose of American justice delivered with a standard-issue 9mm.
