Just Give This Guy the "Coach of the Year" Award Now

I should be getting ready for the Yankee game right now, but this was just too good to pass up. Mike Leach is the fucking man. It's one thing to call out your team to try to inspire them to play better, but it's a completely different thing to bring their fat little girlfriends into it. 100 bucks says Texas Tech wrecks whoever they play this weekend by at least 50 points and here's why:

Everybody knows fat chicks suck. It's just science. They're loud, obnoxious beasts whose sole purpose on this Earth is to hog the natural resources from us smaller, more productive members of the human race. And the only thing worse than a fat chick is a fat chick with a boyfriend. She becomes even more loud, more obnoxious, more needy, and more annoying to everybody around her when she has a guy to hang on. If you have a guy with a lardass chickie, take a look at him the next time you're hanging out. If you catch it at the right moment, you can actually see the life being sucked out of him and being deposited right into her fat stomach.

Now I don't go to Texas Tech so I don't know what kind of tail their players are pulling. Typically D-1 athletes get the most prime cuts of campus pussy, but far be it for me to call Mike Leach a liar; if the guy says his players have fat little girlfriends then they probably have fat little girlfriends. Now here's the key; when those fat little girlfriends find out what Leach said about them, they are going to take it out on their boyfriends and bitch and moan to a degree never before experienced by these guys. The only thing the guys will be able to do to avoid killing themselves is go out on Saturday and take out all their anger and hatred for their fat little girlfriends on whatever poor saps are across the line of scrimmage. It's genius.

Just like behind every successful man is a good woman, behind every underachieving football player there's a fat little girlfriend. You motivate the fat little girlfriends, you motivate the team; it's coaching 101. Knute Rockne never thought this shit up.