Wisconsin High Schools Turning Into Communist Russia

MENOMONEE FALLS - Two local high schools are cracking down on dirty dancing at school events.
Both Union Grove High School and Menomonee Falls High School are banning "grinding" - a style of dance some say simulates sex. In Union Grove, video cameras will monitor students' dance moves.

Menomonee Falls High School principal Bill Hintz says after the Homecoming Dance chaperones agreed the dancing had gone too far. "It's finally gotten to the point where it's a hot topic. The community wants us to do something," he said.

Hintz began holding Dance Summits where students, faculty, parents and police discussed new guidelines. The ban on sexual dancing will go into place for February's turnabout dance.

Some students are so angry they say they'll skip the dance. "There's only a couple dances a year and they're taking our rights away so I'm not going," said one sophomore girl. Another said, "It's our way of culture now. It's how we dance."

A group of seniors and their parents decided to hold an alternate dance a few weeks later as a reaction to the new rules.

Still some students do agree that a crackdown on dancing is needed. Kristin Boehler who has kids in the Menomonee Falls School District says "grinding" has been a topic of conversation in their family.

"I don't think there's any need for that at a high school. You don't need to dance that way," she said. (story courtesy of Today's TMJ 4)


So let me get this straight. In a world where high school students have more piercings than Tommy Lee, have seemingly unlimited access to alcohol and every kind of drug under the sun, and are fucking at such an high rate that MTV has created a show called "Teen Mom," this radical group of parents has decided that banning grinding at school dances is the key to solving all these problems? Is that pretty much what we're dealing here? I say fuck that. Nobody puts Union Grove and Menomonee Falls High School in a corner!

Listen, these old farts can hold all the "Dance Summits," lay down all the bans, set up all cameras, and hire all the chaperones they want, but the fact is grinding on bitches is an American tradition that has been ingrained into our cultural fabric since Colonial times. John Smith grinded the shit out of Pocahontas; Thomas Jefferson grinded the shit out of all his slaves; JFK grinded on everything with a set of tits. It's what America does. Our country was founded on the notion that all people should have the freedom to follow "live, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness." And when you're a teenage boy, there are few things on this Earth that make you happier than having some chick furiously grind her ass into your junk right in the middle of the dance floor with Usher's "Yeah!" playing in the background.

The best part about grinding is that it takes absolutely no skill or actual dancing ability to do. God cursed you with 2 left feet? No problem, just drop down and get your eagle on, girl! You don't have the foot speed or coordination to pull off that Guido club dancing to impress the ladies? Just pull up your pants and do the rock away; if it can work for Fat Joe, it can work for you. You never know who should lead and how many steps to take for a slow dance? Fuck it, break out the stanky leg and watch the dudes go crazy.

It's like the chick in the story said, it's the high school culture now. It's how they dance. These chicks today know they're sluts and they're damn proud of it! And they should be, because the last time I checked, this was still America, where you can be what you want to be and do it without the fear of persecution. This rebel alliance of senior parents that are holding separate dances where their kids can grind each other 'til they wear holes in the crotches and asses of their pants and dresses are my kind of people. They'll be damned if their kids aren't going to be allowed to skank and skeeze it up with each other! Fight the power!!

If you ask me, the schools and parents should encourage MORE grinding. If their kids are busy dry humping each other on the dance floor with a few layers of protective cloth between their special places, that means they aren't in the bathroom or the backseat of a car fucking, and THAT means they aren't getting pregnant, dropping out school, and spending the rest of their lives living in the upstairs apartment of mommy and daddy's house taking care of their out-of-wedlock kid on a 40-hour-a-week job working at Subway.

Any principal would be smart to schedule weekly dances and hold those things chaperone free. You keep a few teachers on-site to make sure there aren't fights breaking out and drugs being used, and one in each bathroom to monitor any naughty business taking place there and you let these hormone-infused teenagers grind the ever-loving shit out of each other until they all leave with blue balls and sore asses. But no, instead these morons are putting the kibosh on one more relatively safe thing that teenagers can do and steer them even more towards drugs, booze, and unprotected sex. Genius!!

Holiday Inn Wants This Guy To Warm Your Bed For You

International hotel chain Holiday Inn is offering a trial human bed-warming service at three hotels in Britain this month.

If requested, a willing staff-member at two of the chain's London hotels and one in the northern English city of Manchester will dress in an all-in-one fleece sleeper suit before slipping between the sheets.

"The new Holiday Inn bed warmers service is a bit like having a giant hot water bottle in your bed," Holiday Inn spokeswoman Jane Bednall said in an emailed statement to Reuters. Holiday Inn said the warmer would be fully dressed and leave the bed before the guest occupied it. They could not confirm if the warmer would shower first, but said hair would be covered.

She could not explain why the beds were not being warmed by hot water bottles or electric-blankets, but admitted the human method was quirky. (story courtesy of Reuters)


Quirky? Try downright fucking creepy as shit. Just thinking about all the mites and bugs and shit that live in your bedsheets is bad enough; now you have to worry about what kind of person is going to be rolling around in your bed doing God knows what before you hop in.

Jane Bednall can cut the shit with this "giant hot water bottle in your bed" nonsense. The last time I checked, I wouldn't have to worry about giant hot water bottles teabagging my pillowcases or dropping ass in that fleece sleeper suit and leaving me a nice Dutch Oven to climb into. Where is it even stated that the bed warmer is guaranteed to keep the fleece thing and their clothes on while they're warming my bed? How am I supposed to be sure that this bed warmer isn't a freak who's just going to strip down to his or her bareass and furiously masturbate all over my bed before I get in? Call me crazy, but images of that running through my head as I'm snuggling down to sleep after a long day at work on a business trip isn't exactly going to put me in the right frame of mind for a relaxing sleep.

And not for nothing, Jane, but how the fuck can you not confirm if the bed warmer was going to shower before climbing into a bed to warm it? Are you fucking kidding me??? Before the chick at the front desk even asks me if I want the optional human bed-warming service, I better see written and visual proof that the bed warmer has showered, shaved, been dipped in a flea bath, and had that fleece suit steam washed. It's bad enough you're offering people the chance to have a complete stranger roll around in their bed before they get in it, now you're opening the door to possible exchange of diseases between the warmer and warmee? Lots of holes in this process if you ask me.

And what's all this shit about not being able to explain why you aren't already using hot water bottles or heating blankets like the rest of the 21st-century civilized world? Those are pretty simple, relatively inexpensive options for warming up a bed that have worked perfectly fine so far. Is the Holiday Inn trying to bring all the closet sex freaks and creepshows out of the woodwork to sign up for this job?

Basically what I'm gathering from this story is that Holiday Inn just wants the opportunity to be sued up the ass after some couple complains about finding pubes or a hot dump in their bed after Johnny Sex Pervert warmed it up for them. There's no way for them to guarantee the cleanliness of their warmers or that their warmers will remain fully clothed throughout the process. I could sign up for the option, sprinkle a few of my own ball hairs in the bed, complain the next morning, and be banging hot bitches on my Yacht in the middle of the Caribbean within a week while I cover their naked bodies in singles that I got from my out-of-court settlement.

Come to think of it, maybe this isn't such a bad policy after all. Fuck my apartment; I'm staying at a Holiday Inn tonight!

"...and that... is simply horrifying..." (An excerpt by Garrett Radant)

"...it's that feeling you get just before you jump over the cliff's edge. That tremendous and eruptious lurching in your heart, your ribs ache and the beats of your heart slam against your sternum. Your knees grow weak and the mind is consumed to a soft pudding of emotion behind which are only rose tinted thoughts, dreams and a skewed vision of reality, wrong in almost everyway, but right because you made it so in your blinded eyes...some would call it love...I call it a complete loss of yourself, everything you are, everything you want to be is now potentially compromised and it might all be for nothing, after all, nothing is pure, nothing is JUST out of innocence, every punch is meant to hurt and every comment is meant to earn a reaction, even if the reaction is nothing, that is perceived and used. This love, this all consuming, disastrous being, this monster, this zombie creator that is love...is simply horrifying...
I am tired of the abusers of love…for love is abusive enough, it forces you to fall, for you do not rise up into love, you do not climb to that level with someone, you dig your grave with them, for only by death do you part. I loathe the men who dream of cheating, I hate the comments about how they love their significants and yet, complain and wonder about other options. I despise the women who enthrall themselves to the men made of lies. I mock the girl who walks from the one who matters, not for someone else, but for herself, one should never cave to love as if it necessary for survival, but nor shall you stumble away from it out of selfishness. ..because when she realizes that she is alone…that will be simply horrifying…
The deeper you dig your trench, trying to leave a mark on the impervious world, it becomes clearer, you cannot change anything in the grand scheme of things. For many, it is bothersome, it hurts them that they are insignificant, that they, the great ones, who are the worlds future, are not cared for because no one gives a damn, especially the world. For me? For me it is only comforting that I can effect people on a personal basis, I can kill, resurrect, punish or save, the world doesn’t mind, it might convict me, but it doesn’t care. At least I know that by not being able to change the world, I can’t screw it up too bad either. The leaders have no power and the blood spills only because we want tears to fall, nothing is all there is, and for what is, is not known, and what is known, is a lie, for under every fact, lies another, under those rests even more, eventually, we run out of knowledge and are left with nothing, everything we know, is based upon nothing, for even our own existence, our gods, and our hope for purpose, while believed in, is still unknown…and that… is simply horrifying…”

~Excerpt From “The Life of Alone: An Oral History of my Nineteenth Year” a completed biography by Garrett Radant

Just taking a swing here…this is from one of my books, my journal, precisely, which I decided, with very little editing, was complete and something to be proud of…So let me know if you like it, I will let you know when digital copies go on sale, if ever.…

WI Chick Gets Jobbed By The Fuzz

SHEBOYGAN, Wis. – A 36-year-old Wisconsin woman who stripped in front of her children in a drunken attempt to avoid a shoplifting arrest is going to jail. As part of a plea agreement, Julia E. Laack of Sheboygan pleaded no contest to three charges including retail theft. The Sheboygan Press says she was sentenced Thursday to six months in jail.
Prosecutors say Laack stole beef jerky and a lighter from a convenience store. They say when police went to her home she began screaming at [her] three children and told a teenager the incident was his fault.
Laack then stripped to her underwear and told officers they couldn't arrest her because she would be naked. (story courtesy of The Sheboygan Press)


Nothing like a good old-fashioned "chick gets naked to prove she wasn't shoplifting" story from my new home state to get back into the swings of things here at Waxon.

Now I'm not going to sit here and try to pretend like I know the Wisconsin state law book inside and out, but I'm pretty damn sure that A) voluntarily stripping yourself down to your undies immediately proves your innocence in any shoplifting case, B) stripping down in front of your own kids is certainly not against the law, and C) cops can't arrest you if you're naked.

That last one is definitely a slam dunk dropped charge; I've used the naked defense on multiple occasions to get myself out of everything from loitering to farm animal molestation. Ms. Laack may be guilty of having a martini too many, but her attempt to defend herself of the charges against her was spot-on and any half-decent public defender should have been able to get her out of lockup and get all charges dropped before lunch time.

I especially don't get why the retail theft charge is still in play here. The prosecution has no smoking gun here; where are stolen items? I see no mention in this story about the beef jerky and lighter in question falling out of this chick's tits when she started stripping down. What's to say it wasn't actually her teenage son who stole the items? Teenagers steal shit all the time; it's one of the few things they're good at, along with complaining, trying too hard to be cool, and listening to shitty music. Did the officers even bother to pat the kid down after she started screaming at him? Parents, even drunk ones, don't just start screaming at their kids for nothing.

If you ask me, this sounds like a lot of shoddy police work and leads not followed through on that led to this conviction. 6 months in the clink doesn't sound like much for these charges, but to me everything about this still screams conspiracy. Free Julia Laack! Free Julia Laack! Attica! Attica!

2012- Who really cares? by Garrett R

2012 has already been listed as the worst year of my existence and it hasn't even begun yet. A lot of people are talking about it now that we are in the same decade as the dreaded fear-year that marks the end of the world. It is as if upon clearing the 2010 mark, a perceptual wall has dissolved and now the hot-topic has drifted from Tiger Woods' crumbling dignity, Jesus' face seen in someones morning dump, and finally the end-all to everything that is or has ever been...2012. While the level hasn't reached hysteria yet, it will. Everyone will explore for answers, but never prepare for what they get from them, until the time comes. Which makes me wonder...why talk about it at all? And if you are holed up in your basement fortified into a nuclear shelter...good for you. Doing something to protect yourself from the world. Really. Good for you. It is more than a lot of people can say about themselves. I would do it too...I just don't have the patience for that, nor am I afraid of death...so...*ends self explanation*
Basically, I hate talking about 2012 because people are stupid. Now everyone is thinking why I didn't just say that...And I tell you this...I want this blog to look impressive and long, so I will go on as many tangents as I want and you better not question my judgement you Frenchified Coccydynia.(Frenchified meaning to be made French AKA less than valuable or worthless and Coccydynia meaning pain in the ass) Oh yes. I said it.

I must make note of the AMAZING half-hour of an all too long movie obviously titled "2012". Sure, the animations and effects seemed to fall in quality half way through the movie and it ended in a sappy and all-to-predictable manner similar to "Twister." "2012" has this amazing series of scenes in which we see the fall of human structures by natural causes and the vulnerability of humanity as a whole. During this, the main group of "heroes" is running for their lives through all of it, and while it was uncreative, it was very realistic and even physically draining to watch. It was very intense and makes you think, "Wow, this would be really terrible." But enough about entertainment...let's focus on the facts and opinions of 2012.

Now I do not claim to be an expert on the end of the world. However I am aware of several theories:

1. The End of the World Version 1: Natural Disasters due to Global Climate Change (December 20th, 2012)

2. The End of the World Version 2: Nuclear War due to lack of tolerance of others beliefs or the even more ironic method that is an overkill of defensive missiles that through a whole bunch of scientific crap I don't understand kills us all. Like I said, I'm no expert. (Date irrelevant to 2012, could happen tomorrow)

3. The End of the World Version 3: Aliens, Paranormal and the mystery about what the Mayan interpretations mean. (Dec 20th, 2012)

Here I should make a side-note: While researching, I found so much contradictory information from "official" sources. Hell, I found two identical pictures of Mayan runes with different translations under them. People are twisting our apparent fate to their liking...which is just silly.

4. ZOMBIES!!!

5. Nothing Happens just like Y2K, 6-6-06, and other hyped scares

Really, that's it. And frankly, I have to agree with the latter. And if it is not that, then it will be of natural causes. Let's face it. If the Mayans could predict the end of the world accurately it would have to be something that has a noticeable trend, like nature. I say this because you cannot ignore the fact that the Mayan civilization has since dissolved from forces not related to nature or at least, unpredictable IN nature. Thus they could not predict bombs going off or the coming of aliens because those things are completely of their own mind. (just assuming here that if aliens do exist, they are of free will and not creatures of such precise habit)
Basically, I am saying that if the Mayans could not predict their own demise from Spanish Conquerors, how the hell could they predict anything further in the future?

I am being logical. Laying my argument down here so that in the event someone dares to ask me, "What are your thoughts on 2012?" I will simply to tell them to read this...and promptly walk away so I can enjoy my last 2.something years.


Now get out of my face you Frenchified coccydynias...

Until the End,
Garrett Radant