BRYAN, Texas – A man who was apparently was upset after finding a soda can in his room allegedly used a sword to cut two of his roommates. Michael Angel Zamago was jailed on Friday on a charge of aggravated assault with a deadly weapon related to family violence. Bail was $25,000.
A police report indicates Zamago was upset to find a soda can in his room, thinking someone entered without permission. Zamago allegedly used the sword to poke holes in a closed door to a room where the pair fled.
One roommate has a cut under his right arm pit. The other suffered a cut in the shoulder area.
A jailer who declined to provide his name said there was no record of an attorney for Zamago. (story courtesy of the Associated Press)
It's too bad Johnnie Cochran is dead because he would have this dude out of jail and all charges dropped before lunch time. This is an absolute no-brainer if you really break it down.
When the 2 people you jack up with your sword are hiding in another fucking room after fleeing the scene, that's dead giveaway that they were in your room without your permission. Where I come from, we call that trespassing and if your home or living space is invaded, you defend that shit at all costs. If that means a couple of pussies who had the gall to trespass and then sully your room with soda cans have a little of their blood spilled, then so be it.
All Michael Zamago was trying to do was keep a clean, orderly dwelling and do his part to help Mother Nature. Dude's probably an eco-friendly, organic food-eating guy so of course he's going to flip 3 shits when he finds a soda can in his room. It's not like he was running through the streets carving people up like Sir Lancelot in Monty Python and The Holy Grail; he didn't attack until provoked, which I'm pretty sure is the 4th or 5th rule of the Samurai Code so where does the aggravated assault come in? Not to mention the 2 "victims" were his friends, not family, so the whole "related to family violence" bit is out the window too.
This is nothing more than a simple case of "Don't Do the Crime if You Can't Do the Time." You don't want your roommate going Jack Torrance on you through your bedroom door? Don't drink Dr. Pepper in his room and leave your shit laying around; pretty fucking simple if you ask me. And if all you suffer is a cut to the arm pit and shoulder, don't go crying to the police. Put a little hydrogen peroxide and a Band-Aid on that shit and go back to work.
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