"...and that... is simply horrifying..." (An excerpt by Garrett Radant)

"...it's that feeling you get just before you jump over the cliff's edge. That tremendous and eruptious lurching in your heart, your ribs ache and the beats of your heart slam against your sternum. Your knees grow weak and the mind is consumed to a soft pudding of emotion behind which are only rose tinted thoughts, dreams and a skewed vision of reality, wrong in almost everyway, but right because you made it so in your blinded eyes...some would call it love...I call it a complete loss of yourself, everything you are, everything you want to be is now potentially compromised and it might all be for nothing, after all, nothing is pure, nothing is JUST out of innocence, every punch is meant to hurt and every comment is meant to earn a reaction, even if the reaction is nothing, that is perceived and used. This love, this all consuming, disastrous being, this monster, this zombie creator that is love...is simply horrifying...
I am tired of the abusers of love…for love is abusive enough, it forces you to fall, for you do not rise up into love, you do not climb to that level with someone, you dig your grave with them, for only by death do you part. I loathe the men who dream of cheating, I hate the comments about how they love their significants and yet, complain and wonder about other options. I despise the women who enthrall themselves to the men made of lies. I mock the girl who walks from the one who matters, not for someone else, but for herself, one should never cave to love as if it necessary for survival, but nor shall you stumble away from it out of selfishness. ..because when she realizes that she is alone…that will be simply horrifying…
The deeper you dig your trench, trying to leave a mark on the impervious world, it becomes clearer, you cannot change anything in the grand scheme of things. For many, it is bothersome, it hurts them that they are insignificant, that they, the great ones, who are the worlds future, are not cared for because no one gives a damn, especially the world. For me? For me it is only comforting that I can effect people on a personal basis, I can kill, resurrect, punish or save, the world doesn’t mind, it might convict me, but it doesn’t care. At least I know that by not being able to change the world, I can’t screw it up too bad either. The leaders have no power and the blood spills only because we want tears to fall, nothing is all there is, and for what is, is not known, and what is known, is a lie, for under every fact, lies another, under those rests even more, eventually, we run out of knowledge and are left with nothing, everything we know, is based upon nothing, for even our own existence, our gods, and our hope for purpose, while believed in, is still unknown…and that… is simply horrifying…”

~Excerpt From “The Life of Alone: An Oral History of my Nineteenth Year” a completed biography by Garrett Radant

Just taking a swing here…this is from one of my books, my journal, precisely, which I decided, with very little editing, was complete and something to be proud of…So let me know if you like it, I will let you know when digital copies go on sale, if ever.…