Dear Female Movie Villains,

Please, Please stop being so sexy. I am supposed to hate you...See? I'm wearing a Batman shirt...I want HIM to win...at least, that's what they want me to think...

Is it wrong that I go to movies just to watch Megan Fox or Famke Janssen? Actually, I think it is exactly why they are in the movie to being with...well, it's more like I know it rather than think it. It's simple sex appeal. Sure guys, we aren't always superficial when looking at actual options, but when an actress like Sarah Michelle Gellar walks in the room, who cares? We won't ever date her nor probably have any time at all to make an impression, thus, we use our minds and imagine having someone as seductive as the seductive actress from Cruel Intentions. And it doesn't really help that she goes onto mack on the girl she is guiding into the ground, actress Selma Blair.

But why, WHY!!??!! Are the villains always hot. I am yet to see one villain who is ugly, deformed or morbidly obese who is ACTUALLY evil...turns out the ugly mofo was just misunderstood and beat up in school so you end of feeling sorry for her before she gets her fat splattered into the ocean by a ships propeller. Then you cry, because you see yourself in the fat, dead woman sinking to the bottom of the sea. Turns out, she was the protagonist all along...and there you were cheering for the opposing force, the Hot actress that you thought was justice, is now evil and seducing the captain. Then there is a sequel. And even if the actress that plays the fatty has no 'good, but actually evil' counterpart, they typically make you feel bad for wishing for her demise in the end...sad music, tears, slow motions of the light leaving her eyes...etc.

Poison Ivy, Cat Woman, SuperWoman...even in comic books we have sex stamped in it early on. WE ARE BRED LIKE THIS!!! WE FEED ON SEXY EVILNESS...if I had to pick, I would be a bad guy, see, the good heroines are sexy, but also clean cut, they want to make sure they are ready for a committed relationship, so they will tease you insanely until you finally cave and turn into a bad guy anyways...but not the cool kind of bad guy like I want to be...more like...the in jail for sexual harassment kind of bad guy that becomes the inmates "girlfriend".
Furthermore, if I was a bad guy, I could at least get some action on the side and my god, it would pretty hot, if I do say so myself.

Last night, I went to see Harry Potter 6. It was good, kind of what I expected. But...I also read the books and hated Bellatrix Lestrange...turns out, she's hawt too! When Hermione and Tonks aren't on screen I can only wish that Bella will come back.

So please, create a little balance...create a woman worthy of Frankenstein's prom date and please...please...don't have her shave or anything...she has to be hairy and grotesque...but then maybe we'd feel bad for her? I don't know. Just...there has to be something that can be done...eh...just saw Poison Ivy...fine...let's keep it the way it is...

Peace...

Garrett R